Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Book Review — Courtney Reissig
Unlike most books on dating, this one cuts straight to the heart of dating relationships, asserting with confidence that the line must be drawn at "no sexual activity". It has been some time since I have read a book on dating and relationships, probably because it has been some time since the subject has. How can I have a legit dating relationship? By: Gerald Hiestand Vendor: Crossway Books Publication Date: Format: Book Page Count.
Only one of those relationships is permitted and even commanded to engage in sexual activity--the marriage relationship. The question "how far is too far? They provide some really helpful comments on the actual lack of commitment that comes with dating relationships, calling it a "mirage".
While marriage is a covenant that should guarantee commitment, dating is not, and the other party is allowed to leave at any time with no real consequences, essentially exposing the real dangers inherent in a dating relationship.
I found these distinctions extremely helpful in thinking through how I teach these things to my students.
Sex, Dating, and Relationships - Tim Challies
They propose a new category of relationships for singles called "dating friendships". These relationships are designed to be intentional in the same way others have talked about biblical dating, but the only difference is that the relationships also includes a level of romantic purity designed to protect both parties from becoming too emotionally attached too soon.
They take their cues from the relationship between Christ and the Church. He only has one Bride, one relationship, and one love, and that is his Church.
Focusing on getting to know one another serves one purpose: If so, the man proposes and the couple gets married. Our modern dating culture assumes that romance and dating and sometimes sexual activity is necessary for finding a spouse.
But the authors present a very clear, albeit counter-cultural, approach that could save a lot of young people from unnecessary heartache.
And I would imagine it would expedite a lot of weddings, too. My only critique of the book was regarding their brief discussion regarding masturbation and other areas of the purity debate.
Sex, Dating, And Relationships: A Fresh Approach
They provide a helpful framework for thinking through such things, especially linking our actions to our motives and our heart. But at one point, in an attempt to encourage those who have stumbled into sexual sin, they say that we should not wallow in guilt over our failure in the area of lust and masturbation While it is true that in Christ we are no longer guilty, and that guilt can be an unhealthy obstacle to joy in Christ and his finished work. Sometimes guilt is a good thing if it causes us to see hidden sin in our lives and drives us to repentance and faith.
Christians are failing and desperately looking for a better way. It has been some time since I have read a book on dating and relationships, probably because it has been some time since the subject has seemed urgent to me.
Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach
But recently a local pastor told me that as he pastors young adults toward marriage, he has been helped by Sex, Dating, and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas. I decided to check it out and I am glad I did so.
You are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but friends, and you spend time together i. Thus, the main goal of a dating friendship is to explore the viability of marriage while preserving the guidelines of sexual and romantic purity required by the neighbor relationship. Integral to the argument is an understanding of how the Bible guides and restricts sexual activity.
God gives us clear sexual boundaries to guide marriage relationships sex is requiredneighbor relationships sex is forbidden and family relationships sex is forbidden. The authors want dating couples to understand that until they are married, their relationship to the person they are pursuing is a neighbor relationship in which any sexual activity or even the awakening of sexual desire is inappropriate.Sex, Dating and Relationships in College - Freshman Survival Guide Day 17
What is conspicuously absent from the Bible is a category that falls between neighbor and spouse. Yet this is where so much of our relationship confusion comes from—an invented category that is more than one but less than the other and lacking any clear biblical guidelines.